Things That We Stuck In There

For your reading pleasure, published without judgement, the 2021 list of things that Americans got stuck so far up their asses that they had to go to the doctor to have them removed.

The list is sourced from the U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission’s database of emergency room visits

BOTTLE CAP

PLASTIC SODA BOTTLE

“WAS ‘JOKING AROUND WITH FRIENDS’ WHEN JOKE WAS TAKEN TOO FAR AND A CAN WAS PUT INTO HIS RECTUM”

CLICK GEL PEN

BRONZE HANDLE OF A TOOL

2 BATTERIES

GLUE BOTTLE

“WENT TO SIT DOWN IN THE BATHTUB AND SAT ON A PLASTIC BOTTLE OF BUBBLE BATH THAT WENT INTO HIS RECTUM”

FLATHEAD SCREWDRIVER

PHILLIPS HEAD SCREWDRIVER

TOOTHBRUSH CASE

PUMP ACTION PLASTIC ALCOHOL DISPENSER

BAR OF SOAP

ROLLING PIN

“STATES HE AND HIS WIFE WERE HAVING SEX WHEN SHE PLACED A RUBBER PENIS IN HIS RECTUM AND IT BROKE OFF”

“STUCK PLASTIC TOILET PAPER HOLDER IN RECTUM DURING SEXUAL ENCOUNTER W/ PARTNER WHILE INTOXICATED”

“REPORTS WAS ‘PLAYING WITH MY WIFE’ WHEN THE CAP OF AN AEROSOL CAN BECAME DISLODGED & STUCK IN HIS RECTUM”

RUBBER BALL

SQUISHY BALL

STRESS BALL

BILLIARD BALL

“PT STATES WAS ATTEMPTING TO HOLD A BALL IN GLUTEAL FOLD & BELIEVES GOT LOST. NOT 100% THAT BALL IS IN RECTUM”

TOY DINOSAUR

TOY ROCKET

PUZZLE PIECES

“SOME MARBLES”

HEXBUG ROBOTIC TOY

“STATES HE AND HIS FRIENDS HAD A PRACTICAL JOKE GOING ON EACH OTHER. THIS TIME, HE WAS SLEEPING WHEN HIS FRIEND PUT A DILDO IN HIS RECTUM AND NOW UNABLE TO GET IT OUT”

SHAMPOO BOTTLE

LOTION BOTTLE

HAIRSPRAY

“HAVING TROUBLE GOING POOP SO HE PLACED A MECHANICAL PENCIL IN HIS RECTUM. PT NOW UNABLE TO REMOVE. PENCIL IS STICKING OUT.”

MAGIC DICE

HEAD OF ACTION FIGURE

TWEEZERS

SCISSOR TONGS

TOWEL WITH A SOCK OVER IT & GLOVE OVER THE SOCK

AXE BODY SPRAY

12? KNIFE HANDLE-FIRST

“WAS DRINKING WITH FRIENDS AND BELIEVES THAT HE MAY HAVE PLACED A NICKEL AND A DIME INTO HIS RECTUM.”

LIGHT BULB

GRASS AND GOLF TEE

CARROT

LOTTERY TICKET

“FOREIGN BODY IN HIS RECTUM. HE STATES HE ‘BELIEVES IT IS A VAPE’ AND IS NOT ANSWERING ANY QUESTIONS.”

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